What if...

I'm one of those people who has a hard time letting things go... when something "almost bad" happens, I always play the "what if" game. What if I had done this... what if I had done that... what if this had happened? Today was one of those days.

I'm going to first start out by saying that I know that there are people who live in my new town that read my blog and people that know what daycare my son goes to and this post is not meant to bash this daycare in any way. I know they meant no harm... this could have happened anywhere... including my own home. Baby Clay is fine... it's actually his mommy that's not doing so well. You see, we had a scare today. It may not seem major to some, but to me, a "what if" person, it's scared the ever-living crap out of me.

Today, we finally closed on our house. It's been a crazy process, but FINALLY, it's done! After we closed, we decided to run a few quick errands before we went to pick up Clay from daycare. We showed up at the daycare and went in to find Clay playing and happy as usual. I went to pick him up and as I did, one of the daycare ladies mentioned that he must be cutting some more teeth because he had been chewing on what she thought was his "tongue". I knew he was cutting 2 more top teeth so I didn't think anything of it until I handed him to Mark and saw that he was in fact "chewing" on something. I reached into his mouth and pulled out a piece of ribbon, about 2 inches long and close to a 1/2 inch wide. I about lost it... but I held it together while at the daycare. I handed it to one of the daycare workers and they were trying to figure out where it came from. We left the daycare and as soon as we hit the car, I LOST it. I couldn't believe how close my baby came to possibly swallowing and choking on a piece of ribbon! Thank God we got there when we did and noticed it when we did! Because I was so upset, we went back and talked to the daycare director and she eased my worries (slightly) and let me know that they were going to be extra careful. The ribbon had come from a toy and they had no clue how Clay had gotten it off because it was on so tight, none of the workers could get it off. I asked that they double check the other toys and make sure they are age appropriate for his class.

BUT... I can't help playing the "What If" game. What if the closing had taken longer and we got there 15 minutes later? What if he actually swallowed it and choked... would they have been able to get it out? What if...

I am worried and distraught over even taking him back, but I have to... this is something that could have happened anywhere and I have to keep telling myself that. He's going to fall... he's going to bump his head... he's all boy and I need to prepare myself for this. I just have to leave him in God's hands and know that he will take care of my baby.